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For more than a decade now, I’ve been using WordPress. Using is a keyword here. I’ve been using it without contributing back. 

WordPress has reached 20 years this year, primarily due to the thousands of volunteers who contribute to its continuous development and maintenance, keeping it alive.

Looking back, it was working on WordPress-based projects that opened a lot of opportunities for me. The projects and jobs I got from it put me in a position where I could provide a comfortable life for my family.

I could say that if it weren’t for WordPress, I would not be where I am at now.

Applied as a speaker for WordCamp Cebu 2023

I had the intention to give back for a long time but I did not know where to start. When I saw that WordCamp Cebu was looking out for speakers, I applied. 

My topic was not even about promoting myself, or any of my work or expertise. It was about how I personally use WordPress and why I think it’s the right choice for a CMS as it guarantees that you own and control what you produce.

As a speaker, I had the chance to meet Drew, the lead organizer of WordCamp Manila, and Dreb, the lead organizer of WordCamp Davao, at the welcome dinner. It was super fun to hang out with them, an experience that becomes increasingly rare as I grow older. It felt like being around with my kind of people.

Attended WordCamp Asia 2023

The following month, WordCamp Asia took place. I connected with more people, and it was surprisingly easy to get along with them. It felt like WordCamps attract a certain kind of people who are open and inclusive by default. 

The after parties were so enjoyable that the people I was with expressed a desire to bring that same fun back to our local community.

We started casually talking on organizing WordCamp Manila. No concrete plans yet, but it planted a seed with everybody about making it happen.

Helped organize WordCamp Manila 2023

After coming back home, I started getting more involved with the local community. I did another talk in a meetup, I volunteered, and I was always present in-person and in our weekly calls.

Last November 11, we finally made WordCamp Manila 2023 happen.

It’s just amazing how one thing always lead to another.

Getting involved made me realize that community work is a key factor in sustaining WordPress’ longevity. With organizing a WordCamp event, even if we inspire just a single person to contribute back, it will help WordPress. And I’m hoping that we did.

What’s next?

I work with very talented people who’s an active contributor to WordPress. I’d like to explore more ways to contribute back, especially to Core and Hosting, which is directly tied to my work at Human Made.

No concrete plans yet, but let’s see what happens.

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I did all this with the pure intention to contribute back, not expecting anything in return. I felt like it’s time for me to give back. However, I still ended up gaining more than I gave – new friends.

WordPress just keeps on giving.

I first learned about this word when I attended Vipassana back in 2016.

I don’t only remember it, but it’s ingrained in my head because it’s the word that’s used to break the hours-long meditation sessions that happen a couple times a day for 10 days. I began to yearn for it, especially when back pain becomes unbearable from sitting up straight, or there’s a mosquito right on my nose sucking out my blood, and we’re instructed to just observe. Observe our breathing. See how everything comes and goes.

Anicca means impermanence.

The word resonated with me so much I had it tattooed on my right forearm. When I learned that it is transliterated as “anicca” from Pali, I knew it’s going to be the name of our baby girl.

And here she is.

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Nothing in life is permanent. Being aware and accepting this fact will only help us prepare, and face the things that will come and go.

It’s a belief that makes me balanced. It’s a belief I want to introduce to my kids and see if it’s going to resonate with them too.

1. Install Docker
2. Create a folder
3. Create a plain text file named docker-compose.yml
4. Copy the code below
5. Run docker-compose up

services:

  wordpress:
    image: wordpress:6.1.1-apache
    environment:
      WORDPRESS_DB_HOST: db
      WORDPRESS_DB_USER: wordpress
      WORDPRESS_DB_PASSWORD: password
      WORDPRESS_DB_NAME: wordpress
    volumes:
      - ./wordpress:/var/www/html

  db:
    image: mysql:5.7
    platform: linux/x86_64
    environment:
      MYSQL_DATABASE: wordpress
      MYSQL_USER: wordpress
      MYSQL_PASSWORD: password
      MYSQL_RANDOM_ROOT_PASSWORD: '1'
    volumes:
      - ./db:/var/lib/mysql

  tunnel:
    image: cloudflare/cloudflared
    restart: unless-stopped
    command: tunnel --url wordpress:80
    depends_on:
      - wordpress
      - db

One of the reasons why I don’t publish regularly is I pre-judge what I write if it’s publish-worthy.

At Human Made, we use a WordPress Multisite. Each area/interest of the organization has it’s own site. This fits nicely with my internal structure. I have multiple interest with varying degrees, and only work on those interests only when I feel like working on it.

What I did is convert this personal site to a multisite too and started creating sites for topics I’ve been putting my energy on. This removes the hesitation if it’s worth posting since it will be in it’s own little space. I can be as technical as I need to be. The audience is my future self, and probably my kids if they also happen to stumble on the same interest.

One topic I’ve been spending a lot of time on recently is FTTH. Here’s an example post of installing NAP box for my ODM: https://www.jericoaragon.com/fiber/2022/12/20/installing-my-first-nap-and-two-clients/

My plan is to document my progress using posts and compile elaborate knowledge base using pages.

I’m actually writing this on Jan 2nd already, but family stuff happened and I’m okay to back-post to fulfill my new year’s resolution which is to publish everyday.

Publish everyday, no matter how insignificant my update is. Why? I feel like I’ve been keeping too much stuff inside my head. Stuff not written down only fills in my limited head space. Once I write it down, I’m free to let go of it. Or look back with what I published when I feel like I need to.

Bad start, but it’s okay

Here’s to a bad start of posting late in the first day of the year. But forgiving myself and still doing it anyway.

Let’s see where this takes me.

For a couple of months now, my days are mostly filled work and family time. I feel guilty with the amount of time I’m spending at work. What I do is every time not spent working is spent on family.

No time to slow down, let alone to stop.

This has been detrimental to me on multiple aspects.

Mentally

With my days filled, there’s minimal wiggle room for exploration and mistakes. This puts unnecessary pressure to myself. With pressure, I don’t operate optimally. Even the simplest tasks take a long time to get started and push to completion.

Emotionally

Even if I’m physically with my family, I cannot be fully present. At the back of my mind, there’s this anxiety of things I need to do.

Not being fully present makes me feel more guilty.

Failing to deliver things on expectations I set hits my self-esteem. A lower self-esteem results to failing to deliver more.

It’s a downward spiral that takes a lot of self-awareness and willpower to get out of.

Physically

With feeling limited of time, exercise was one of the first thing that went away. Without exercise and pushing myself hard, I felt weaker and unprepared for day-to-day challenges. I easily get ticked-off, I easily give-in.

It’s counterintuitive to slow down when I have a lot of things on my plate. But it’s exactly what I need when my days are filled.

If your brain is a highway and you are filling yourself with work, after a while you start to slow down. Your mental rush hour gets longer and longer. You find yourself struggling to accomplish even the simplest tasks.

Today, I took time to stop and reflect where I’m at.

One of the first steps to get out of this rabbit hole of always pressured, always in a rush, and failing to manage expectations.

Hopefully, I get back on track soon.

While doing a weekly review earlier today, I realized most of the stuff in my plans are for other people. I don’t have a day where I get to do things I’m naturally drawn to do. I fill all my days with things I have to do — which I actually don’t have an issue with, but leaves me unfulfilled.

Maybe this is also why when I share that I’m planning to try something new, I get a laugh instead of support. I can’t blame them. My want-to-dos only has been increasing. I should explicitly make time for it.

I’ll try this: I won’t plan work stuff on my Saturdays. I added a note in my weekly planner and calendar to remind me to do things for myself.

What do you want to do that you don’t have to do?

It’s important to have a day where you’re not busy. To think, to plan. If you’re always anxious about your have-to-dos, you won’t get any thinking done. You’ll just react to things without a direction. This will leave you astray, unfulfilled, sad.

Try it on Saturdays. Go to your office with no agenda. But to think, to do things you feel like doing. Without pressure.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be.” – Charles Bukowski

For this year, I’m explicitly deciding to put myself first.

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Self-care

I can’t expect other people to take care of me. It’s a nice-to-have, but I shouldn’t really rely on it. Other people already have their own set of priorities and problems, I can’t reasonably expect another person to put me first.

To change: Prepare and have the capacity to take care of myself

Be a less agreeable person

It’s easy for me to empathize with anyone. This leads me to being an overly agreeable person. By default, I put other’s people needs over my own. It’s genuine, but I’m at a point that I feel it’s a disservice to myself. I’m here to lead a good life, to be an example to my 3 sons. I’m not here to please.

To change: Put my needs first. Less empathy, more enforcing of boundaries. Embrace tension, conflicts, and disagreements. Don’t tolerate any form of disrespect. People may cut me off, and that’s okay.

Indulging myself

Spending for other people is infinitely easier for me than spending for myself. I’m thinking it might be a symptom that deep down I feel I don’t deserve to have nice things. I don’t particularly like the word “deserve” because it reeks entitlement , but in this case I think I deserve it.

To change: As long as I fulfill my duties and roles, I’m allowing myself to indulge guilt-free to things I need, want, and prefer.

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Everything here sounds too selfish to me, but I have to remind myself: The better I take care of myself, the better I will handle life, the better it will be for people around me.

So starting this year, I’ll put myself first.

“Way too often we bring the best of ourselves to work and the leftovers home.” – Esther Perel

This has been a slap in my face when I realized it’s true. I’ve been putting all my prime energy at work — the fun, energetic, solve-all-your-problems attitude version of myself. I go home tired, irritated, no energy left for my family. My thought is it was justified since my main role was providing, and I’m doing it fairly well. But turns out it doesn’t align with my values.

Strong values makes easy decisions

What I do now is have “slow mornings”. I do not go to work until my kids wake up, have breakfast, and I spent time with them (with as little gadget use as possible). I also make sure I’m around when it’s bed time, regardless of deadlines and deliverables. Those can wait until my kids are asleep.

One of my core value that I identified is family comes before work. I couldn’t count how many times I ditched work to spend fun times with my kids now. Ditching work is easy if the question is should I have fun with my kids or be guilt-ridden procrastinating while I try to work? Of course my default answer is have fun with my kids. My prime energy is for my family.

What’s my work structure looks like now?

The only time I’m guilt-free working is when they are sleeping. However, working only when they are sleeping isn’t sustainable. I still need to work. After all, providing is still my primary role.

My kids wake up at 6-7am, then I stick around to spend time with them up to 10am. I officially start my work day by then. I try to go home for lunch, late afternoon walk, and dinner, then go back to my office until bed time at 9pm. This is a hard stop of my work hours. It’s very important for me to be there at bed time. Usually, if I still need to deliver something within the day, I’d just set an alarm at 11pm to wake up and continue working.

I preferably not want to work beyond 3am because I wouldn’t have good energy when my kids wake up. If I’m still not done by that time, I’d reset expectations.

Where do I compromise?

I want to be good with family and work. My work enables us live a good life. So where do I compromise? Sleep. Year-over-year I’ve been needing less sleep. I’m at 6 hours/night now. This is why I have more coffee in my blood than water. 😛

There’s a 2 hour gap between my average time in bed and average time asleep because my kids usually takes sometime to sleep. We ask about their day, pray, and say thanks for everything we’re grateful for (usually for new toys). It’s extra fun when they start talking.

Why am I doing this?

Kids belong to themselves. The process of them leaving you starts when they leave your body. – Marriage Story

Well, in my case it started when they left my wife’s body. I can imagine it’s a long steady process of them leaving slowly until they are capable on their own.

“They grow up fast, spend time with them while you can.” is a recurring theme when I read about parenting stuff. This is why I try to spend as much time with them as I can. Soon enough they wouldn’t even want to hang out with me anymore (and that’s okay).

I’ve accepted that the next 10-20 years of my life will be mostly about supporting them. Things I selfishly want to do, I can do later on if I’m still given the time. All the time spent with them is well worth it on it’s own anyway.

Ultimately, it’s a meaningful experience to witness a human being that was part of myself grow to be their own self. And I just want to witness as much as I can.